A little Pinterest crazy!

Okay, it's no surprise that I've recently become slightly obsessed with Pinterest.  I hesitated for so long to even join for this very reason.  I suppose the upside to this is that once I pin something, I'm pretty much committed to doing it in some fashion.  I don't have a TON of pins or boards, but the ones I do have I am very likely to complete.  Most of my pins revolve around my kids (like most of my life), my classroom or creative DIY gifts.  I'd rather give someone a thoughtful gift that I (or my girls) helped to create than a more expensive, less inspired gift.  At least with Pinterest when I see/pin something, I'm thinking, "Oh!  That would be perfect for _________."  Otherwise I'm walking around Target or Kohl's forcing myself to find something to fit the gift bill.  Just not personal.  Just not my current style.

The reality is, I think I'm addicted to Pinterest because it gives me a sense of completion.  Of something.  My life is so hectic and chaotic, and there really aren't enough hours in the day to do anything, but I somehow find the time to complete these little mini projects.  When I step back and look at what I've done, whether craft, food, or organization, I think, "Okay, you can do this..."  It's a sense of accomplishment and pride that is not as easy to put my finger on in my every day life.  Yes, being a mother is rewarding and I am very proud of my girls and the life that we lead.  But these are intangible. And although this is wonderful, and I fully believe it is the intangibles that make life worth living, every once in a while I need a tangible accomplishment to hang my hat on.  Thus, my Pinterest addiction.

This week I am off for Christmas break.  I have sent my daughters to school.  I do NOT feel guilty about this.  Okay, maybe a little, but I'm feeling better about it.  The reality is my girls LOVE going to school.  They enjoy their friends and their teachers.  They thrive on structure and nap better at school than they do at home.  This also translates into sleeping better at night.  And there is no downside to actually being productive for a few days.  Tomorrow we are all taking a day off and going to the aquarium!  But we've worked hard for this break.  Jason is currently installing a closet organization system to our walk-in closet.  This will be SO helpful!  I'm very much looking forward to this being completed.  While Jason has been painting, sawing, and drilling, I've been working on my own projects.

This one was SUPER easy!  We already had the canvases, but we were never really happy with their placement or the phrases that were underneath them.  When I saw this on Pinterest I thought it was phenomenal!  This took me about 45 minutes, including the time it took to cut the words out using my Cricut machine (but I know you can buy them on Etsy; I looked in order to save myself the time/energy!)  The clocks are set to the important times for the events.  Bella's clock is set to 11:25, Sophia's is at 2:01 (let it be known this is AM!), and our wedding was at 4:30.  So easy, so personal, and it completes the look that we've been striving for.

Now, on to the big guns!

I bought these crates after the Back to School craziness.  I paid $1 each for them.  I actually have two more in my classroom that I may be bringing home to make addition stools.  I had plywood cut at Home Depot (which was cut incorrectly and my fabulous husband recut them correctly!)  I chose two coordinating fabrics for the stool coverings and the desk "skirt".  Then I used some Christmas snow (on clearance at Joann's for $1.72!) instead of traditional batting, placed it on top of the plywood, wrapped the fabric around it and stapled it with a staple gun!  I also stapled a small loop of ribbon scraps to help lift the seat off of the crate when cleaning up. Ta-da!  All in all, I think it cost me about $8 to make both stools.  If I had been a bit smarter, or better prepared, I would have used the particle board from the desk to make the stools and saved even more...live and learn!  These store a ton!  One crate currently holds building blocks and the other a marble tower kit!  These are great toys but are very cumbersome to store.  I like to keep things organized and out of sight...which leads me to the next task!

We have transitioned Sophia out of the crib/toddler bed and into a twin sized bed.  What to do with that crib?  Make it an art desk!  My children have a million art supplies!  Which is absolutely fine with me because they love to color, write, glue, cut, you name it.  But we are always struggling with storage, clean up, and organization.  I think I've finally figured it out.  

I took the crib and raised the mattress spring to the highest level (where you place your newborn).  I had particle board cut (no rough edges = no splinters!) and a sturdier/glossy finished MDF board cut to fit inside.  This was a bit of a challenge.  I had it cut to the crib mattress specifications.  But I didn't factor in the brackets, which cut off about 2 inches!  Home Depot cut it to my dimensions, but again I needed Jason to bail me out!  He did it in about 4 minutes and all was right with the world.  

I placed the thicker particle board on the mattress spring, stapled the coordinating fabric on top (long enough to almost hit the floor.  It was about a yard and a half, folded over to it was "finished" on the bottom.  I only attached it to the front), then placed the thin MDF on top.  There you have it.  A desk!  I put an under bed storage container under the crib to hold all papers, coloring books, stickers, etc..  I also put a small box under there that holds "help needed" crafts; think glitter, Elmers glue (glue sticks are within reach), beads, wire, etc.)  I did this because it's an easy rule to follow: "If it's in this box, you need Mommy or Daddy's help."  Period.  End of Story.  There's also a stack of new art "projects" that haven't been opened.  

 I purchased a few containers at Target (with lids!) to store markers, pipe cleaners, pom poms, and popsicle sticks, colored pencils and twisty crayons, and stamps and ink pads.  We already have regular crayons in an old wipe box.   I attached a dry erase/magnet board on one end of the crib and our AquaDoodle on the other!  These are great "toys" but they take up a lot of space.

I will be adding a few hooks and magnets to display items like sequins, googly eyes, and other small knick knacks.  And eventually I'd like to put some plexi glass on top of the MDF with art work on display underneath.  I will still need a few more containers, but all in all, I'd call this a successful Pinterest venture.  It didn't take very long either (most of my time was spent being "lost" in the stores!)  I'm really very pleased with this.  It was such a great idea and I NEVER would have thought of this without the help of Pinterest.  When Bella came home and saw it she was so excited!  She said to me, "Mommy, this is really, really good."  That's all the recognition I need!

I am a teacher...

I am a teacher.

I go to school, not work, every day.  I work harder, and smarter, than my students.  I strive to instill things like knowledge, independence, confidence, appreciation, kindness, and accomplishment in the minds of those whose brains are not fully developed, therefore they cannot fully appreciate these things. But still I try.  I give up evenings and weekends to plan, execute, and communicate better.  I sometimes neglect my family.  I almost always neglect myself.  I wait to respond to negative parent e-mails and I re-read positive ones countless times!  I look forward to summer and the break that it brings from the chaos, but then I crave the interaction with my students.  I miss them (but don't tell them that; I have a reputation to keep).  I am a protector, a counselor, a parent, a friend, and an enemy.  I am the person who assigns homework over Thanksgiving Break and threatens students with it over Christmas Break.  I wonder about my former students; did they ever "grow up", are they happy, have they finally found peace and happiness with themselves?  I see faces before names and I refuse to formulate lesson plans based on test data.  I am just one of many teachers who strive to continually get better, who resists the urge to become complacent, who is never satisfied with my personal success.  I am just one of many teachers who feels a responsibility for my students beyond their academic success.

One week ago, the unspeakable happened in a school.  A place where children go, and feel safe.  A place where parents send their children and don't question whether they will return to them in the afternoon.  It is a place where thousands of people go to help impact the lives of the next generation.  And there is no place I'd rather spend 8 hours a day.  It would be easy to say, in the wake of such tragedy, that with two small children at home I should look for a "safer" career.  But I refuse to let myself, my family, and especially my daughters, be changed for the worse because of this tragedy.  I do not want my daughters to feel fear for a situation we could never fully anticipate or protect them from.  I want them to feel hope for the change that will come from such an unnecessary tragedy.  I want them to look into my eyes and believe me when I tell them, "I will do everything I can to keep you safe".  I want to be the one, years from now, to explain to them how things "used to be" before we, as a country, started taking better care of our citizens, all of them.  I want them to understand that we cannot control everything, but that they can find security in making sound decisions.  I don't want them to check the house with a pen, a knife, or a phone in their hands.  I want them to trust those around them.  Unreasonable fear is not an option.

I cannot even begin to hypothesize about how I would react in the face of such horrifying circumstances.  The reality is, I do not know how I would react.  But I am honored to find myself in the career company of so many who have died with such conviction, preserving opportunity, life, and hope.

'Tis the Season

It's so easy for this time of year to get crazy.  Between holiday parties, buying presents, wrapping presents, making new recipes, birthday parties, and trying to maintain some sense of sanity, I'm exhausted.  I'm not sure if it was a conscious decision or one that has just fallen into place on it's own, but we are keeping Christmas low key.  We do not have any visitors scheduled to visit over Christmas (although we have three very special visitors coming the next week...I'm very excited) and at first this was depressing.  But it's not really.

Someone once told me, "Your family is your family, no matter where you live."  And this is very accurate.  I love my family.  I miss them dearly.  But, you know what?  They are still my family even if I don't see them on Christmas.  Instead of spending Christmas Eve at my mom's house our family is planning on delivering snacks and "fuel" to members of Jason's team.  I will likely spend it enjoying dinner with my husband and my daughters, quietly and excitedly talking about Santa. I'm sure we will discuss whether Jack (our elf) is going to tell Santa that Bella and Sophia were good listeners.  And maybe we'll visit our neighbors for dessert.  Maybe we'll hide the pickle ornament with them.  We'll read books about Sugar Plums and watch the Nutcracker.  And on Christmas Day, maybe we'll decide to wear pajamas all day and have ice cream sundaes for breakfast.  I'd like to open presents with my family via Skype. And watch our nieces open their presents across the miles.  We will establish new traditions.  Not better or worse traditions, just different ones.  We'll expand our circle of family to include those friends who have touched our lives and we will count our blessings.  There are many of them.  

This year, between the craziness I vow to enjoy the extra time with my husband and daughters.  I don't want to rush around.  I want to sit at home and watch movies together.  I want to cook easy dinners and play board games.  I want to show Bella how to put a ponytail in her Barbie's hair (think styling head Barbie) and I want to teach Sophia new words until her vocabulary is filled with words I suddenly wish she didn't know.  I want to laugh at them and with them.  I want to marvel at the bond my daughters have with each other.  I want to hold my husbands hand across a dimly lit dinner table.  I want to drink bottles of wine.  I want to ring in the new year around my coffee table, enjoying laughter and unhealthy snacks.  And I want to remember that this is not a time to be sad for what I no longer have in traditions, but a time to rejoice and be thankful for the many wonderful traditions this Taliaferro Quartet has created.

Where did the last month go?!

Seriously...a month?  I have no idea where the last 32 days have gone.  To say we've been busy would be putting it mildly!  Let's see...

In the last month "we" have:

Had a cracked skull
Two ER visits (one for a staple removal, which was worse than having them put in, by the way!)
Not had a single full night of sleep
Been berated on the phone by a parent for 40 minutes
Had a family of Florida visitors (it was so fabulous to have my oldest friend and her family at our home, and to watch out kids play so well together!)
Gone to the Children's Museum on Navy Pier (fabulous!)
Had a California day tripper (so excited to see my dad)
Two nights of parent/teacher conferences
Cooked Thanksgiving dinner
Decorated for Halloween
Gone Trick or Treating
Undecorated for Halloween
Decorated for Thanksgiving
Undecorated for Thanksgiving
Decorated for Christmas
Brought Jack, our elf, back
Put up the Christmas tree
Set up the Christmas town
Made a few "thank you" gifts for the girls' teachers
Created a basket of "gifts" for the month of December (including dinner for the ER staff...we are regulars, after all)
Tried to convince my youngest sister to come visit over Christmas break (unsuccessfully)
Listened to Elmo sing "Deck the Halls" approximately 358 times
Run behind Sophia trying to break every single fall
Managed to hide Jack every night (huge success)
Planned a birthday party
Ordered a birthday shirt (just in time, paid rush delivery)
Organized a holiday card writing activity for my students to send to Veterans and the Elderly
Graded a few papers (and by a few, I mean it...I am SOOOOOO behind)
Taken family pictures (after getting everyone ready and in the car on the wrong day!!)
Tried a new frozen yogurt place
Assembled a doll house
Cleaned out Sophia's clothes (including throwing some away...this is very hard for me!!!)
Did a little Black Friday shopping (definitely not the same without my mom)
Given up on several reality singing shows
Pinned a few easy recipes, crafts, and classroom ideas
Folded approximately 42 loads of laundry
Washed 1,423 dishes
Had a "debriefing" with my new coworkers
Enjoyed a few glasses of wine, beers, and hard apple ciders
Spent some quality time with my husband (never enough of this)

No, really, where did the last month go?

ineptitude

It has been quite some time since I felt that I was in the wrong profession.  I started teaching my first year in the middle of the year, February 13, to be exact.  And even though that was a challenging year (self contained Reading 9-12 and two blocks of Read 180) by Spring Break I felt good.  I didn't always know exactly what I was doing, and I was winging it a lot of the time, but I felt confident.  This was largely in part to my principal.  If I had an idea, even if it was unconventional, she would buy into it if I was able to adequately support my theory.  This taught me to think outside of the norm, look at what else could be done, and research best practices.  I loved it.  And my confidence soared.  And through the years my test results proved that I was a capable, successful teacher.  (Although test scores are only the tip of the ice berg, in that district, they matter...a lot.  The real evidence is in the e-mails I still receive from former students.)

Today, and quite honestly for the last eight weeks, I've wondered about my chosen profession.  I began my teacher career in a high school.  This wasn't by default.  I knew that I loved English, analysis, writing, and digging deep into a text.  I loved the idea of turning on the proverbial light bulb for my students.  I felt that in middle school there wasn't that opportunity, mainly because they just can't have those in depth conversations.  It's not their fault, they just aren't there yet.  I remember doing some observation hours with a friend of mine who taught 6th grade and saying to her at the end of the day, "I don't know how you do this.  They are so needy."  Maybe this was a glimpse into what would become my reality.  I should have known better than to open my mouth.  

Now, eight years later I am faced with this precise challenge.  And I'm reevaluating if this is the right "placement" for me.  I'm struggling with classroom management in a way I never even dreamed of.  My students don't stop talking...EVER!  They have questions about questions.  They ask me questions about their answers on tests.  They repeat questions their peers ask.  They ask me questions immediately following giving them that exact information.  The talk when I pause to breathe.  I inhale, they talk...to their neighbor, to themselves, to the air in front of them.  Yesterday I was interrupted so many times by blurted out questions that I forgot what I was trying to say.  I tossed my papers on my desk and just sat down.  I'm not sure how to combat this.  There must be a way because my team leader has just celebrated her 20th year at this school.  I remarkable achievement, I have to tell you.  

I just want to teach.  Really.  That's all I want to do.  But the reality is there are always challenges for teachers.  We are always teaching elements of life rather than academics.  And these "extra curricular" assignments are equally important.  In my previous high school I was teaching self confidence to students who read several grades below level.  I was showing students to recognize their successes; passing the FCAT, earning all Bs, and working full time to keep the electricity on at your parents' home all simultaneously.  I was helping students see that what you were born with is not what you have to settle for.  Here, in a very affluent neighborhood, where students have better cell phones and laptops than I do, I'm teaching other life lessons.  Organization.  Time management.  Collaborating with their peers...effectively.  Confidence (in a whole different league).  Self reliance.  Accountability.  Note taking.  AND LISTENING SKILLS!  (This is their number one area of opportunity!)  For a generation (and demographic) that is used to instant and constant gratification, the idea of sitting, taking a test, and waiting several days to find out their scores, is foreign.  They don't trust themselves to read the questions correctly.  They don't want to get anything wrong...ever.  In their eyes it's a failure, not an opportunity to learn something new, either about themselves or the material.  This impacts every aspect of my class.  

I know that teaching these skills has the potential to change the lives of these students.  And there is extreme value in this.  I just don't know if I'm the best one for this job.  I go to work every day preparing, researching, planning, and executing lessons with 110%.  I am always looking to better myself as a teacher.  But these days every evaluation of myself, my classroom, my expectations and lessons, has led me to change these things.  And at the end of every week I'm back at square one.  I don't know if this is a reflection of me, my students, or a combination of the two.  I miss conversations about literature and analyses of characters through song lyrics.  I miss digging through lesson plans and using technology in a way that enhances the learning process.  And I miss my own confidence.  

But when I look at those faces, those eleven and twelve year-old faces that are sitting in front of me, I block out their own insecurities and try to focus on the promise that lays before them.  And I wonder what role I will have in their futures.

A timestamped day...

5:45: Wake up to my alarm clock (iPhone) playing so softly that I jolt awake and wonder how long it's been going off

5:52: My husband comes in the bathroom, kisses me good morning and asks how I slept.  It's a brief, but thoughtful conversation, that makes me smile.

6:08: Decide I better get a move on and quickly finish my make up

6:13: Wake Bella up, get her dressed and brush her teeth

6:20:  Wake the other sleeping darling, who isn't quite so darling this morning

6:51: Back out of the driveway (only 6 minutes behind schedule) for the first and only time today!

7:08-7:58: Sit in traffic entirely too long to go approximately 13 miles

8:10: Deliver a wedding present to a friend, only four months late (still within the acceptable 6 month range) and hope that she finds it as personal and special as I do

8:25: Have a meeting about a student who needs a little more encouragement to get on track...AKA What else can I do to help?

The rest of the school day goes by in a blur...

3:45: Sit through a meeting that sounds like it will change the course of my professional life in the next two years, but only offers a few concrete answers for the immediate future; welcome to education

5:38: Finally get to my girls

5:57: Have a conversation with Bella about what we should have for dinner.  She says pizza...again...I convince her to have breakfast, complete with french toast

6:03: Open the door and am greeted immediately by the stench of dog poop...watch my dog step in it and trek it through the house

6:04: Put the dogs outside and pray that Maggie doesn't escape...again

6:06: Walk to the foyer and discover dried dog pee on the floor...this night just keeps getting better!

6:06: Clean up the dog poop, clean the carpet, but decide to leave the dried pee until the girls are eating

6:10: The doorbell rings...the kids next door have found my "missing" dog...Bella climbs over the gate in the playroom!

6:15: Angry with myself for talking Bella into a different dinner when there are perfectly edible leftovers in the refrigerator, I begin cooking dinner

6:32:  We sit down to eat, everyone asks for seconds, and for a short while, life is good.

6:58: I decide to steam the floors (this is better to get done now so that I can "relax" after the girls go to sleep)

7:04: Decide that blogging is waaaaaaaay more important than a bath right now.

7:20: Sophia sits in front of the television and watches "Tangled"...and I don't feel an inkling of regret!

7:30:  Bella starts singing a song with Rapunzel...not the fun, dancing around, up beat one, but the slow one "And at last I see the light..." and I realize I'm in deep trouble.  She's seen this far too many times!

The night will continue with bath and bed for the girls, probably some dishes and laundry for me.  And maybe a little reading (I'm only 1/3 into my book club book that is due on Friday during lunch.)  Now, if I could just get something done around here...

Looks like grading papers will have to wait, again.

18 minutes...

That's all it took. Eighteen minutes from the time the nurse took Sophia back for surgery to the time I went back in recovery to scoop her up in my arms again. Yep, 18 minutes to hook her up to three monitors, sedate, implant two tubes, wake, and move her. That's pretty impressive. And she did great.

I, honestly, wasn't nervous about this day.  I had several people ask me how I was doing or feeling, but the reality was that I wasn't feeling much else than relief.  Sophia has been averaging an ear infection every 3-4 weeks.  I think every time she's seen my mom she's been sick, in some capacity.  She's a great sleeper, so that is never an indication, but she hasn't been her happy self in quite some time.  As soon as she seemed to get over one illness the next set in.  It was exhausting.  In six weeks of school I had already missed three days of work.  And although work cannot be the only reason to make this decision, it certainly played a part, even if only because she's been THAT sick.  When I finally asked the pediatrician for a recommendation for an ENT, I put it off for a few weeks; she had turned one and it's not uncommon for things to make a turn.  But three weeks later, like clock work, she came down with croup.  And a mild ear infection.  So we trekked to the ENT and 6 days later we had tubes.  And I am not looking back.

Immediately following waking up from her morning nap, 2 hours after the surgery, Jason and I put her in the car to go to the mall, and she talked the entire way there!  Talked!  Not just a few babbling words, this girl was TALKING!  I looked at Jason and said, "She has not stopped talking since she woke up!"  Now, this may have had something to do with the fact that Bella wasn't in the car, but maybe not.

She's eaten more for each meal than she has in weeks.  In fact, she had a major melt down this evening, before dinner, simply because she was STARVING!  I don't know if this is common, but it seems like all of a sudden she has her appetite back.

Tonight she said "yellow".  And the words "baby" and "Daddy" are very obviously more clearly pronounced.

A teacher at school today said she was completely different; "very vocal".

Another one said she was so happy all day long.

She took a two hour nap today at school (this is VERY uncommon there).

She walked up to me and just wrapped her arms around my legs.  (Was she saying "thank you"?)

She was laughing tonight while she was playing with Bella.  Not just playing near each other, but with each other.

She burped, and it must have sounded differently (or louder) and it scared her to tears!

She says "cheers" when we're eating.  This started a few days before the tubes, but it's so clear, now.

She turned to look for the kids coming out of the house across the street, in the dark...she heard them.

But most importantly, she just seems happy.  And content.  And "normal".  I know it might sound kind of strange, but it was like a switch was flipped.  The doctor said that she had another ear infection when he went in to insert the tubes.  This was the last piece of information that solidified knowing that we made the right decision.  He drained the infection and inserted the tube.  We had no idea.  No fever.  We've just grown accustomed to her behaviors.  Doctors have told us, seemingly from birth, that she had fluid in her ears.  I often heard "no infection, but there's fluid".  And now I'm wondering how that's impacted her quality of life up to this point.  But she woke up from that first nap a different baby.  I'm not sure where you draw the line between coincidence and clear effects.  But I'm starting to draw my own conclusions.  Who knows what this cold and flu season will bring, but I'm feeling better about it and less paranoid.

In classic Danielle fashion, I took pictures of everything.  This girl just makes me smile.  Especially when she gets that devious look...wonder where she got that one from?!

Yes, she was this happy at 6:30 in the morning...

 

Killing time in the waiting room...lol...she's a riot!

She's just recently grasped how to use crayons effectively.  We were just getting settled in when they called us back!

wiggly and blurry

Laughing her head off...might have something to do with the relaxing drugs!                                                                

One of the most amazing things about yesterday was simply being able to spend time with Sophia, just Mommy, Daddy, and Sophia.  Don't get me wrong, I missed having Bella with us, but it was so wonderful to just stare at Sophia doing simple things, like watching the water fountains in the mall or eating lunch.  When I started to feel guilty I reminded myself that Bella had 20 months of us all to herself.  Sophia will never know that kind of undivided attention.  Making the time to spend individual time with each of our girls must be a priority.  They are siblings, but they are also individuals.  I want to make sure that each of them always knows how special and unique they are.  Yesterday was a great reminder of why this is so important.