It was a vacation that I needed...even though I didn't realize it.
Since we've moved I've found myself on many occasions feeling down about my "social life". It's not that I haven't made friends here, because I have. I've met many wonderful people who have become our family. They are kind and thoughtful and love our children. They have listened to me vent and made me laugh.
But there's an element that's missing that cannot be fabricated...I often miss my friends that knew me before I had children. They have watched me mature into a wife and mother. But they also know the person I am without the "make up" of responsibility that comes with motherhood.
Since we've moved here my best friend has gotten married. I missed her wedding because I was VERY pregnant. She's also had a son. Our children are not getting to "grow up together".
My sister had a baby. Our children know each other in pictures and skype chats (that don't happen often enough!)
My other sister moved into a dorm room and started college.
My mom and dad have embraced life as "empty nesters"!
Many of my friends from my old school have retired or left. And those who are still there talk about people I don't know. I miss their laughter and genuine compassion. I miss the connection.
But during this trip I was hit with the realization that these people can still be in my life. There's no need to feel "woe is me". Just because we are not right down the street from each other is no reason to feel that we are not or cannot be a part of each other's lives.
In ten days I was able to spend time with some of the most wonderful people I've ever met. I spent time with one of my oldest childhood friends; laughed with her and her husband, watched our children play together, swimming and having dinner. I snuggled my best friend's baby; watched him flirt with my daughters and laughed and joked and caught up. I had a "girls' night" with one of my favorite pseudo-girls and many other women who have loved me unconditionally throughout the years. I celebrated July birthdays with the one person, outside of my family, with whom I share the most childhood memories. I had a coffee date with a friend that needed me as much as I needed her; laughing, crying, gossiping, and just being there together. Another friend made the 45 minute trek through a storm to spend a few short hours catching up. I spent numerous hours watching my daughters play with their cousins, on both sides.
With all of these incredible people, it seemed that no time had passed at all. This is the tell-tale sign of true friendship. We pick up right where we left off, whether it had been two weeks, two months, or two years. I cherish this connection. And shame on me for letting it escape. Although friendship is a two way street, I have spent too much time wallowing in the fact that these friends are "gone". They aren't gone. They are a phone call, a text, or a facebook message away. All I have to do it make a move. It doesn't have to be the "right" time and I don't have to have an endless amount of time to talk to try to make a connection. And it's okay if I have to cut the call short because one of my children is hanging from my leg, screaming, or coloring on the floor! I simply have to let my friends know that I'm thinking about them, which happens quite often.
The next time I'm feeling down, I'm going to count my blessings and pick up the phone. The same remarkable friends I had in Florida, I still have in Illinois. Note to self...
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