A little Pinterest crazy!

Okay, it's no surprise that I've recently become slightly obsessed with Pinterest.  I hesitated for so long to even join for this very reason.  I suppose the upside to this is that once I pin something, I'm pretty much committed to doing it in some fashion.  I don't have a TON of pins or boards, but the ones I do have I am very likely to complete.  Most of my pins revolve around my kids (like most of my life), my classroom or creative DIY gifts.  I'd rather give someone a thoughtful gift that I (or my girls) helped to create than a more expensive, less inspired gift.  At least with Pinterest when I see/pin something, I'm thinking, "Oh!  That would be perfect for _________."  Otherwise I'm walking around Target or Kohl's forcing myself to find something to fit the gift bill.  Just not personal.  Just not my current style.

The reality is, I think I'm addicted to Pinterest because it gives me a sense of completion.  Of something.  My life is so hectic and chaotic, and there really aren't enough hours in the day to do anything, but I somehow find the time to complete these little mini projects.  When I step back and look at what I've done, whether craft, food, or organization, I think, "Okay, you can do this..."  It's a sense of accomplishment and pride that is not as easy to put my finger on in my every day life.  Yes, being a mother is rewarding and I am very proud of my girls and the life that we lead.  But these are intangible. And although this is wonderful, and I fully believe it is the intangibles that make life worth living, every once in a while I need a tangible accomplishment to hang my hat on.  Thus, my Pinterest addiction.

This week I am off for Christmas break.  I have sent my daughters to school.  I do NOT feel guilty about this.  Okay, maybe a little, but I'm feeling better about it.  The reality is my girls LOVE going to school.  They enjoy their friends and their teachers.  They thrive on structure and nap better at school than they do at home.  This also translates into sleeping better at night.  And there is no downside to actually being productive for a few days.  Tomorrow we are all taking a day off and going to the aquarium!  But we've worked hard for this break.  Jason is currently installing a closet organization system to our walk-in closet.  This will be SO helpful!  I'm very much looking forward to this being completed.  While Jason has been painting, sawing, and drilling, I've been working on my own projects.

This one was SUPER easy!  We already had the canvases, but we were never really happy with their placement or the phrases that were underneath them.  When I saw this on Pinterest I thought it was phenomenal!  This took me about 45 minutes, including the time it took to cut the words out using my Cricut machine (but I know you can buy them on Etsy; I looked in order to save myself the time/energy!)  The clocks are set to the important times for the events.  Bella's clock is set to 11:25, Sophia's is at 2:01 (let it be known this is AM!), and our wedding was at 4:30.  So easy, so personal, and it completes the look that we've been striving for.

Now, on to the big guns!

I bought these crates after the Back to School craziness.  I paid $1 each for them.  I actually have two more in my classroom that I may be bringing home to make addition stools.  I had plywood cut at Home Depot (which was cut incorrectly and my fabulous husband recut them correctly!)  I chose two coordinating fabrics for the stool coverings and the desk "skirt".  Then I used some Christmas snow (on clearance at Joann's for $1.72!) instead of traditional batting, placed it on top of the plywood, wrapped the fabric around it and stapled it with a staple gun!  I also stapled a small loop of ribbon scraps to help lift the seat off of the crate when cleaning up. Ta-da!  All in all, I think it cost me about $8 to make both stools.  If I had been a bit smarter, or better prepared, I would have used the particle board from the desk to make the stools and saved even more...live and learn!  These store a ton!  One crate currently holds building blocks and the other a marble tower kit!  These are great toys but are very cumbersome to store.  I like to keep things organized and out of sight...which leads me to the next task!

We have transitioned Sophia out of the crib/toddler bed and into a twin sized bed.  What to do with that crib?  Make it an art desk!  My children have a million art supplies!  Which is absolutely fine with me because they love to color, write, glue, cut, you name it.  But we are always struggling with storage, clean up, and organization.  I think I've finally figured it out.  

I took the crib and raised the mattress spring to the highest level (where you place your newborn).  I had particle board cut (no rough edges = no splinters!) and a sturdier/glossy finished MDF board cut to fit inside.  This was a bit of a challenge.  I had it cut to the crib mattress specifications.  But I didn't factor in the brackets, which cut off about 2 inches!  Home Depot cut it to my dimensions, but again I needed Jason to bail me out!  He did it in about 4 minutes and all was right with the world.  

I placed the thicker particle board on the mattress spring, stapled the coordinating fabric on top (long enough to almost hit the floor.  It was about a yard and a half, folded over to it was "finished" on the bottom.  I only attached it to the front), then placed the thin MDF on top.  There you have it.  A desk!  I put an under bed storage container under the crib to hold all papers, coloring books, stickers, etc..  I also put a small box under there that holds "help needed" crafts; think glitter, Elmers glue (glue sticks are within reach), beads, wire, etc.)  I did this because it's an easy rule to follow: "If it's in this box, you need Mommy or Daddy's help."  Period.  End of Story.  There's also a stack of new art "projects" that haven't been opened.  

 I purchased a few containers at Target (with lids!) to store markers, pipe cleaners, pom poms, and popsicle sticks, colored pencils and twisty crayons, and stamps and ink pads.  We already have regular crayons in an old wipe box.   I attached a dry erase/magnet board on one end of the crib and our AquaDoodle on the other!  These are great "toys" but they take up a lot of space.

I will be adding a few hooks and magnets to display items like sequins, googly eyes, and other small knick knacks.  And eventually I'd like to put some plexi glass on top of the MDF with art work on display underneath.  I will still need a few more containers, but all in all, I'd call this a successful Pinterest venture.  It didn't take very long either (most of my time was spent being "lost" in the stores!)  I'm really very pleased with this.  It was such a great idea and I NEVER would have thought of this without the help of Pinterest.  When Bella came home and saw it she was so excited!  She said to me, "Mommy, this is really, really good."  That's all the recognition I need!

I am a teacher...

I am a teacher.

I go to school, not work, every day.  I work harder, and smarter, than my students.  I strive to instill things like knowledge, independence, confidence, appreciation, kindness, and accomplishment in the minds of those whose brains are not fully developed, therefore they cannot fully appreciate these things. But still I try.  I give up evenings and weekends to plan, execute, and communicate better.  I sometimes neglect my family.  I almost always neglect myself.  I wait to respond to negative parent e-mails and I re-read positive ones countless times!  I look forward to summer and the break that it brings from the chaos, but then I crave the interaction with my students.  I miss them (but don't tell them that; I have a reputation to keep).  I am a protector, a counselor, a parent, a friend, and an enemy.  I am the person who assigns homework over Thanksgiving Break and threatens students with it over Christmas Break.  I wonder about my former students; did they ever "grow up", are they happy, have they finally found peace and happiness with themselves?  I see faces before names and I refuse to formulate lesson plans based on test data.  I am just one of many teachers who strive to continually get better, who resists the urge to become complacent, who is never satisfied with my personal success.  I am just one of many teachers who feels a responsibility for my students beyond their academic success.

One week ago, the unspeakable happened in a school.  A place where children go, and feel safe.  A place where parents send their children and don't question whether they will return to them in the afternoon.  It is a place where thousands of people go to help impact the lives of the next generation.  And there is no place I'd rather spend 8 hours a day.  It would be easy to say, in the wake of such tragedy, that with two small children at home I should look for a "safer" career.  But I refuse to let myself, my family, and especially my daughters, be changed for the worse because of this tragedy.  I do not want my daughters to feel fear for a situation we could never fully anticipate or protect them from.  I want them to feel hope for the change that will come from such an unnecessary tragedy.  I want them to look into my eyes and believe me when I tell them, "I will do everything I can to keep you safe".  I want to be the one, years from now, to explain to them how things "used to be" before we, as a country, started taking better care of our citizens, all of them.  I want them to understand that we cannot control everything, but that they can find security in making sound decisions.  I don't want them to check the house with a pen, a knife, or a phone in their hands.  I want them to trust those around them.  Unreasonable fear is not an option.

I cannot even begin to hypothesize about how I would react in the face of such horrifying circumstances.  The reality is, I do not know how I would react.  But I am honored to find myself in the career company of so many who have died with such conviction, preserving opportunity, life, and hope.

'Tis the Season

It's so easy for this time of year to get crazy.  Between holiday parties, buying presents, wrapping presents, making new recipes, birthday parties, and trying to maintain some sense of sanity, I'm exhausted.  I'm not sure if it was a conscious decision or one that has just fallen into place on it's own, but we are keeping Christmas low key.  We do not have any visitors scheduled to visit over Christmas (although we have three very special visitors coming the next week...I'm very excited) and at first this was depressing.  But it's not really.

Someone once told me, "Your family is your family, no matter where you live."  And this is very accurate.  I love my family.  I miss them dearly.  But, you know what?  They are still my family even if I don't see them on Christmas.  Instead of spending Christmas Eve at my mom's house our family is planning on delivering snacks and "fuel" to members of Jason's team.  I will likely spend it enjoying dinner with my husband and my daughters, quietly and excitedly talking about Santa. I'm sure we will discuss whether Jack (our elf) is going to tell Santa that Bella and Sophia were good listeners.  And maybe we'll visit our neighbors for dessert.  Maybe we'll hide the pickle ornament with them.  We'll read books about Sugar Plums and watch the Nutcracker.  And on Christmas Day, maybe we'll decide to wear pajamas all day and have ice cream sundaes for breakfast.  I'd like to open presents with my family via Skype. And watch our nieces open their presents across the miles.  We will establish new traditions.  Not better or worse traditions, just different ones.  We'll expand our circle of family to include those friends who have touched our lives and we will count our blessings.  There are many of them.  

This year, between the craziness I vow to enjoy the extra time with my husband and daughters.  I don't want to rush around.  I want to sit at home and watch movies together.  I want to cook easy dinners and play board games.  I want to show Bella how to put a ponytail in her Barbie's hair (think styling head Barbie) and I want to teach Sophia new words until her vocabulary is filled with words I suddenly wish she didn't know.  I want to laugh at them and with them.  I want to marvel at the bond my daughters have with each other.  I want to hold my husbands hand across a dimly lit dinner table.  I want to drink bottles of wine.  I want to ring in the new year around my coffee table, enjoying laughter and unhealthy snacks.  And I want to remember that this is not a time to be sad for what I no longer have in traditions, but a time to rejoice and be thankful for the many wonderful traditions this Taliaferro Quartet has created.

Where did the last month go?!

Seriously...a month?  I have no idea where the last 32 days have gone.  To say we've been busy would be putting it mildly!  Let's see...

In the last month "we" have:

Had a cracked skull
Two ER visits (one for a staple removal, which was worse than having them put in, by the way!)
Not had a single full night of sleep
Been berated on the phone by a parent for 40 minutes
Had a family of Florida visitors (it was so fabulous to have my oldest friend and her family at our home, and to watch out kids play so well together!)
Gone to the Children's Museum on Navy Pier (fabulous!)
Had a California day tripper (so excited to see my dad)
Two nights of parent/teacher conferences
Cooked Thanksgiving dinner
Decorated for Halloween
Gone Trick or Treating
Undecorated for Halloween
Decorated for Thanksgiving
Undecorated for Thanksgiving
Decorated for Christmas
Brought Jack, our elf, back
Put up the Christmas tree
Set up the Christmas town
Made a few "thank you" gifts for the girls' teachers
Created a basket of "gifts" for the month of December (including dinner for the ER staff...we are regulars, after all)
Tried to convince my youngest sister to come visit over Christmas break (unsuccessfully)
Listened to Elmo sing "Deck the Halls" approximately 358 times
Run behind Sophia trying to break every single fall
Managed to hide Jack every night (huge success)
Planned a birthday party
Ordered a birthday shirt (just in time, paid rush delivery)
Organized a holiday card writing activity for my students to send to Veterans and the Elderly
Graded a few papers (and by a few, I mean it...I am SOOOOOO behind)
Taken family pictures (after getting everyone ready and in the car on the wrong day!!)
Tried a new frozen yogurt place
Assembled a doll house
Cleaned out Sophia's clothes (including throwing some away...this is very hard for me!!!)
Did a little Black Friday shopping (definitely not the same without my mom)
Given up on several reality singing shows
Pinned a few easy recipes, crafts, and classroom ideas
Folded approximately 42 loads of laundry
Washed 1,423 dishes
Had a "debriefing" with my new coworkers
Enjoyed a few glasses of wine, beers, and hard apple ciders
Spent some quality time with my husband (never enough of this)

No, really, where did the last month go?

ineptitude

It has been quite some time since I felt that I was in the wrong profession.  I started teaching my first year in the middle of the year, February 13, to be exact.  And even though that was a challenging year (self contained Reading 9-12 and two blocks of Read 180) by Spring Break I felt good.  I didn't always know exactly what I was doing, and I was winging it a lot of the time, but I felt confident.  This was largely in part to my principal.  If I had an idea, even if it was unconventional, she would buy into it if I was able to adequately support my theory.  This taught me to think outside of the norm, look at what else could be done, and research best practices.  I loved it.  And my confidence soared.  And through the years my test results proved that I was a capable, successful teacher.  (Although test scores are only the tip of the ice berg, in that district, they matter...a lot.  The real evidence is in the e-mails I still receive from former students.)

Today, and quite honestly for the last eight weeks, I've wondered about my chosen profession.  I began my teacher career in a high school.  This wasn't by default.  I knew that I loved English, analysis, writing, and digging deep into a text.  I loved the idea of turning on the proverbial light bulb for my students.  I felt that in middle school there wasn't that opportunity, mainly because they just can't have those in depth conversations.  It's not their fault, they just aren't there yet.  I remember doing some observation hours with a friend of mine who taught 6th grade and saying to her at the end of the day, "I don't know how you do this.  They are so needy."  Maybe this was a glimpse into what would become my reality.  I should have known better than to open my mouth.  

Now, eight years later I am faced with this precise challenge.  And I'm reevaluating if this is the right "placement" for me.  I'm struggling with classroom management in a way I never even dreamed of.  My students don't stop talking...EVER!  They have questions about questions.  They ask me questions about their answers on tests.  They repeat questions their peers ask.  They ask me questions immediately following giving them that exact information.  The talk when I pause to breathe.  I inhale, they talk...to their neighbor, to themselves, to the air in front of them.  Yesterday I was interrupted so many times by blurted out questions that I forgot what I was trying to say.  I tossed my papers on my desk and just sat down.  I'm not sure how to combat this.  There must be a way because my team leader has just celebrated her 20th year at this school.  I remarkable achievement, I have to tell you.  

I just want to teach.  Really.  That's all I want to do.  But the reality is there are always challenges for teachers.  We are always teaching elements of life rather than academics.  And these "extra curricular" assignments are equally important.  In my previous high school I was teaching self confidence to students who read several grades below level.  I was showing students to recognize their successes; passing the FCAT, earning all Bs, and working full time to keep the electricity on at your parents' home all simultaneously.  I was helping students see that what you were born with is not what you have to settle for.  Here, in a very affluent neighborhood, where students have better cell phones and laptops than I do, I'm teaching other life lessons.  Organization.  Time management.  Collaborating with their peers...effectively.  Confidence (in a whole different league).  Self reliance.  Accountability.  Note taking.  AND LISTENING SKILLS!  (This is their number one area of opportunity!)  For a generation (and demographic) that is used to instant and constant gratification, the idea of sitting, taking a test, and waiting several days to find out their scores, is foreign.  They don't trust themselves to read the questions correctly.  They don't want to get anything wrong...ever.  In their eyes it's a failure, not an opportunity to learn something new, either about themselves or the material.  This impacts every aspect of my class.  

I know that teaching these skills has the potential to change the lives of these students.  And there is extreme value in this.  I just don't know if I'm the best one for this job.  I go to work every day preparing, researching, planning, and executing lessons with 110%.  I am always looking to better myself as a teacher.  But these days every evaluation of myself, my classroom, my expectations and lessons, has led me to change these things.  And at the end of every week I'm back at square one.  I don't know if this is a reflection of me, my students, or a combination of the two.  I miss conversations about literature and analyses of characters through song lyrics.  I miss digging through lesson plans and using technology in a way that enhances the learning process.  And I miss my own confidence.  

But when I look at those faces, those eleven and twelve year-old faces that are sitting in front of me, I block out their own insecurities and try to focus on the promise that lays before them.  And I wonder what role I will have in their futures.

A timestamped day...

5:45: Wake up to my alarm clock (iPhone) playing so softly that I jolt awake and wonder how long it's been going off

5:52: My husband comes in the bathroom, kisses me good morning and asks how I slept.  It's a brief, but thoughtful conversation, that makes me smile.

6:08: Decide I better get a move on and quickly finish my make up

6:13: Wake Bella up, get her dressed and brush her teeth

6:20:  Wake the other sleeping darling, who isn't quite so darling this morning

6:51: Back out of the driveway (only 6 minutes behind schedule) for the first and only time today!

7:08-7:58: Sit in traffic entirely too long to go approximately 13 miles

8:10: Deliver a wedding present to a friend, only four months late (still within the acceptable 6 month range) and hope that she finds it as personal and special as I do

8:25: Have a meeting about a student who needs a little more encouragement to get on track...AKA What else can I do to help?

The rest of the school day goes by in a blur...

3:45: Sit through a meeting that sounds like it will change the course of my professional life in the next two years, but only offers a few concrete answers for the immediate future; welcome to education

5:38: Finally get to my girls

5:57: Have a conversation with Bella about what we should have for dinner.  She says pizza...again...I convince her to have breakfast, complete with french toast

6:03: Open the door and am greeted immediately by the stench of dog poop...watch my dog step in it and trek it through the house

6:04: Put the dogs outside and pray that Maggie doesn't escape...again

6:06: Walk to the foyer and discover dried dog pee on the floor...this night just keeps getting better!

6:06: Clean up the dog poop, clean the carpet, but decide to leave the dried pee until the girls are eating

6:10: The doorbell rings...the kids next door have found my "missing" dog...Bella climbs over the gate in the playroom!

6:15: Angry with myself for talking Bella into a different dinner when there are perfectly edible leftovers in the refrigerator, I begin cooking dinner

6:32:  We sit down to eat, everyone asks for seconds, and for a short while, life is good.

6:58: I decide to steam the floors (this is better to get done now so that I can "relax" after the girls go to sleep)

7:04: Decide that blogging is waaaaaaaay more important than a bath right now.

7:20: Sophia sits in front of the television and watches "Tangled"...and I don't feel an inkling of regret!

7:30:  Bella starts singing a song with Rapunzel...not the fun, dancing around, up beat one, but the slow one "And at last I see the light..." and I realize I'm in deep trouble.  She's seen this far too many times!

The night will continue with bath and bed for the girls, probably some dishes and laundry for me.  And maybe a little reading (I'm only 1/3 into my book club book that is due on Friday during lunch.)  Now, if I could just get something done around here...

Looks like grading papers will have to wait, again.

18 minutes...

That's all it took. Eighteen minutes from the time the nurse took Sophia back for surgery to the time I went back in recovery to scoop her up in my arms again. Yep, 18 minutes to hook her up to three monitors, sedate, implant two tubes, wake, and move her. That's pretty impressive. And she did great.

I, honestly, wasn't nervous about this day.  I had several people ask me how I was doing or feeling, but the reality was that I wasn't feeling much else than relief.  Sophia has been averaging an ear infection every 3-4 weeks.  I think every time she's seen my mom she's been sick, in some capacity.  She's a great sleeper, so that is never an indication, but she hasn't been her happy self in quite some time.  As soon as she seemed to get over one illness the next set in.  It was exhausting.  In six weeks of school I had already missed three days of work.  And although work cannot be the only reason to make this decision, it certainly played a part, even if only because she's been THAT sick.  When I finally asked the pediatrician for a recommendation for an ENT, I put it off for a few weeks; she had turned one and it's not uncommon for things to make a turn.  But three weeks later, like clock work, she came down with croup.  And a mild ear infection.  So we trekked to the ENT and 6 days later we had tubes.  And I am not looking back.

Immediately following waking up from her morning nap, 2 hours after the surgery, Jason and I put her in the car to go to the mall, and she talked the entire way there!  Talked!  Not just a few babbling words, this girl was TALKING!  I looked at Jason and said, "She has not stopped talking since she woke up!"  Now, this may have had something to do with the fact that Bella wasn't in the car, but maybe not.

She's eaten more for each meal than she has in weeks.  In fact, she had a major melt down this evening, before dinner, simply because she was STARVING!  I don't know if this is common, but it seems like all of a sudden she has her appetite back.

Tonight she said "yellow".  And the words "baby" and "Daddy" are very obviously more clearly pronounced.

A teacher at school today said she was completely different; "very vocal".

Another one said she was so happy all day long.

She took a two hour nap today at school (this is VERY uncommon there).

She walked up to me and just wrapped her arms around my legs.  (Was she saying "thank you"?)

She was laughing tonight while she was playing with Bella.  Not just playing near each other, but with each other.

She burped, and it must have sounded differently (or louder) and it scared her to tears!

She says "cheers" when we're eating.  This started a few days before the tubes, but it's so clear, now.

She turned to look for the kids coming out of the house across the street, in the dark...she heard them.

But most importantly, she just seems happy.  And content.  And "normal".  I know it might sound kind of strange, but it was like a switch was flipped.  The doctor said that she had another ear infection when he went in to insert the tubes.  This was the last piece of information that solidified knowing that we made the right decision.  He drained the infection and inserted the tube.  We had no idea.  No fever.  We've just grown accustomed to her behaviors.  Doctors have told us, seemingly from birth, that she had fluid in her ears.  I often heard "no infection, but there's fluid".  And now I'm wondering how that's impacted her quality of life up to this point.  But she woke up from that first nap a different baby.  I'm not sure where you draw the line between coincidence and clear effects.  But I'm starting to draw my own conclusions.  Who knows what this cold and flu season will bring, but I'm feeling better about it and less paranoid.

In classic Danielle fashion, I took pictures of everything.  This girl just makes me smile.  Especially when she gets that devious look...wonder where she got that one from?!

Yes, she was this happy at 6:30 in the morning...

 

Killing time in the waiting room...lol...she's a riot!

She's just recently grasped how to use crayons effectively.  We were just getting settled in when they called us back!

wiggly and blurry

Laughing her head off...might have something to do with the relaxing drugs!                                                                

One of the most amazing things about yesterday was simply being able to spend time with Sophia, just Mommy, Daddy, and Sophia.  Don't get me wrong, I missed having Bella with us, but it was so wonderful to just stare at Sophia doing simple things, like watching the water fountains in the mall or eating lunch.  When I started to feel guilty I reminded myself that Bella had 20 months of us all to herself.  Sophia will never know that kind of undivided attention.  Making the time to spend individual time with each of our girls must be a priority.  They are siblings, but they are also individuals.  I want to make sure that each of them always knows how special and unique they are.  Yesterday was a great reminder of why this is so important.

The Father/Daughter Bond

I've been mulling over this post for a while.  Despite what you might have thought when you clicked on this link, it is not about my husband and my daughters (at least not on the surface).  It is about me and my dad.

For years I talked about my "real dad" and my "step dad".  This was for lack of a better term; biological dad sounded ridiculous.  The reality is, I have two dads.  Really.  I have been blessed to have two men help shape my adulthood.  I've joked with my mom for years that my husband could not be a better mix of both of these men.  It's true...and kind of weird.

My dad, the man who gave me half of my DNA (and more than half of my strong-willed personality, if you ask my mom), and I have not always seen eye to eye.  It is not a secret that my parents were very young when I was born.  My mom was 16 and my dad was 17.  This is shocking to many because I seem so "normal".  lol  I've been told this many times...and this is, honestly, a testament to my mother...keep reading.  For years my dad and I had a very sketchy relationship. I remember hating to visit him at times and being enamored with him at others.  As an adult I have come to understand that this negativity between us stems largely from our similarities; note: strong-willed personalities.  I remember crying when I had to get on the plane to visit him in Colorado.  And I remember rolling my eyes at him...a lot.  But I also remember laughing so hard that I cried, screaming while I was going down the Alpine Slide, white water rafting, and watching my first MLB baseball game.  But all of these good memories were tainted for the longest time.  I missed him.  I felt like he had abandoned me.  And it didn't matter that I had a wonderful step-father who loved me like I was his own child, I wanted my dad.  And I spent many years feeling like I wasn't good enough because he wasn't around.  But for years my mom "made" me get on that plane.  And she made sure that we talked on the phone.  She bridged the gaps between my dad's family and her own, even if it meant driving me to multiple houses on holidays.  And even though, at the time, I didn't understand her decisions, and I didn't always (okay, rarely) agreed with them, she was right to do it, and I am better off because of it.

It wasn't until I was about 16 or 17 (not coincidentally the ages of my parents at my birth) that I started to understand what it must have been like for my parents.  Until that time, I hadn't known anything differently.  I had a young mom.  So what?  I went to Kindergarten singing "Like a Virgin".  So what? I was happy, healthy, and, really, living in my own world.  But as I neared adulthood, and I looked at what lay ahead of me, I began to realize what my birth meant to my parents' futures.  Not in an "I bet they wish I had never been born" kind of way.  It was really just a realization of what it must have meant for their lives to be turned upside down.  To have people tell them (people that they loved) that they shouldn't "keep" me, that they'd never be successful parents.  To have to fight that battle and break those stereotypes EVERY DAY!  I began to understand.  They were kids.  Really.  My mom stepped up to the plate in a way that I don't understand, even today.  I couldn't have done it the way she did.  My dad still, to this day, reminds me what a remarkable woman my mom is.  But we all know what they say about the maturity level of teenage boys.  I began to understand how scared and overwhelmed my dad had felt.  I began to understand that it didn't have anything to do with me.  And I began to forgive him.

And then my grandmother died.  And I was devastated.  I was just beginning to reconcile all of these conflicting emotions I was harboring, and my world was turned upside down.  There are so many days that I look at Bella and Sophia and hear what Grandma Resy would say about them!  She was an amazingly kind-hearted woman.  I am so blessed to have so many memories of her (again, I thank my mom for this).  But this unexpected heart-breaking event brought my dad and I closer together.  Maybe that was her last gift to us; a reminder of life's fragility.  And a challenge not to let the past rob us of a future.

For the last ten years my dad and I have reconciled the past.  We've talked about it.  A lot.  We've cleared the air.  We've let go.  And I've forgiven.  I've learned a lot about myself by rebuilding my relationship with my dad.  And in the process I found a great friend.  My dad makes me laugh.  He keeps me grounded.  He tells me like it is.  He challenges me to think outside of the box.  He pushes me to do the right thing, even when that may be the hardest path.  And he loves me.  My dad tells me, more than anyone I know, that he's proud of me.  He compliments me more on my abilities and successes as a parent than about anything else.  And he's never shy about his past.  He's told me, "I know what I'm talking about because I've made a lot of poor parenting decisions.  But you and Jason are excellent parents."  I'm not sure that there is anything more vulnerable or genuine than those words.

Letting go of the past and allowing yourself to move forward is the most difficult decision anyone can make.  But it is a decision.  It is a choice.  It is empowering.  And it is beautiful.

I'm Late..I'm Late...

Dear Lord, smack yourself for thinking I was talking about THAT kind of late!!!

The late I'm talking about is the habitual 15 minutes, thank you cards in the mail 3 months after the fact,  one week, two weeks, 6 weeks late for birthday/Christmas/Mother's Day/Grandparents' Day/you name it!  I'm wondering if there will ever come a day when I will get these things out in a timely fashion.  I recently found a Halloween craft the Bella made for my dad...last year...in an envelope, addressed, just waiting to be stamped and mailed.

I have the best of intentions.  I buy Father's Day cards for my dads weeks in advance, but they sit on the counter until a week after.

I bought a sentimental Christmas card for Jason only to leave it tucked away in a folder (where he couldn't find it!)

I made Grandparents' Day crafts/frames for 8 different grandparents...they've been sitting on my counter for two weeks.

Tonight I finally tackled my list...

Thank you cards for Sophia's birthday (6 weeks ago).  Thank you cards for my birthday (also 6 weeks ago).  Grandparents' Day (1 1/2 weeks ago).  But just when I breathed a sigh of relief, I realized that I forgot two thank yous.  But in the grand scheme of things, I think this is pretty good.  Last year's thank yous from Bella's birthday and Christmas never made it out of the house.  Or at least I'm pretty sure about this.  Maybe a few made it, but I am almost 98% positive I never wrote them/mailed them.  I am not proud of this.  Not at all.  But in my defense, I had a 2 year old and a 4 month old; try to keep things organized enough to write thank you notes...just didn't happen.  And the reality is, living away from so many generous family members and friends, our house has turned into a Fed-Ex hub around the holidays.  I have to find a better tracking system...don't open ANYTHING until Christmas!

It would be really easy to just brush this off, send a quick text with a picture of Sophia playing with her toys and say "thanks".  But that's not what I was taught.  The written thank you note is an under appreciated novelty these days.  As a child I was not allowed to cash a check or have the money I was given for my birthday or Christmas until I sat down and wrote the thank you.  This practice is so engrained in me that I still do this.  I just deposited checks for Sophia last night.  This is something I want my children to do.  I want them to understand how meaningful it is to take a few moments to write a personalized thank you.  I don't write "Thanks for the gift."  I tend to write a novel...go figure!  I write something specific about how Sophia has reacted to the present (some things she was obsessed with right out of the box) or something silly ("Sometimes I have to wrestle Bella to play with my new Minnie Mouse, but don't worry, I win!") or if we're saving the checks, what we're planning on doing with them ("Mommy and Daddy are saving your generous gift to put toward a new swing set for me and Bella.")  I want everyone to know that we are sincerely grateful for their kindness and generosity.  And that we understand how blessed we are to have such wonderful friends and family members.  It is worth the time to let our family know they are appreciated.

So, to those who fell through the cracks last holiday season, please don't believe for a second that we were ungrateful.  Or that we didn't take the time, with each gift, to talk about who it was from and how thoughtful it was that you had sent it (Christmas presents took us three days!).  We take our time.  It's not a wrapping paper destroying party.  It's really an opportunity to teach our children about the kindness and generosity of others.  And I promise you, we took our time with your gift.  We made a connection with Bella about the gift.  This is evident, when months later, she will play with a toy and say, "This puzzle is from my friend Sophia, for my birthday."

Tonight Bella said to me when I tucked her in, "Are you going to sleep now?  Or are you writing thank yous?  To Mimi and Papa?.  Okay, Mommy.  That's very nice."


Our children are listening, watching, and absorbing every single facet of our lives, and tonight I am very proud of this.

Are you going to try for another?

A few random "ah-ha" moments from the week...

It doesn't matter how often I do the their laundry, my children manage to fill up their hamper before I get a chance to put the last load away.

If I wait long enough, I've almost emptied the dishwasher by using the dishes in it!

I can get a week's worth of work done if I just get to work 30 minutes earlier...and close my door.

No one compares to your favorite babysitter.  (Who happens to be coming home from college next weekend...already booked her!)

Even when I say I'm going to go to bed early, it NEVER happens!

Okay, now on to the important stuff...

No mother wants to be judged.  Especially not by another mother, or worse, another woman who doesn't have children (and happens to still live a "dream" life).  So in order to "save" herself, if a mother wants/needs to say something that might be perceived as negative, she will undoubtedly begin with something like, "Don't get me wrong, I love my kids..."

So, don't get me wrong, I love my kids (lol), but last week I spent a lot of time with Sophia.  Because I stayed home from work with her two days last week, I had the opportunity to just hang out with her.  I didn't have much work to do at the time, so it was kind of nice.  She wasn't feeling well, so we couldn't do much, but it was nice to just hang out with her.  At one point we were sitting on the couch and I thought about how much easier my life would be if we had only had Bella. But this wasn't in the I-wish-we-never-had-a-second-baby type of way.  It was in the I-sure-as-Hell-don't-want-a-third way!  I look at Sophia and I love her in a way that I didn't know that I could.  I love her in the way I was afraid I would never be able to.  I look at her sleeping and I feel overwhelmed with joy.  And lately I'm looking at her and thinking about how quickly she's growing.  She's a toddler.  A full fledged toddler.  And she's happy (as long as there isn't an ear infection on the horizon!).  We have finally moved onto milk...lactose free milk, but still milk.  And we've moved beyond bottles.  Why would I want to go back?  We're moving into the stage that requires little more than a cup in order to leave the house for hours.  She can walk out to the car.  They are moving her up to the toddler room at school a few days a week.  Why start over?  In all honesty, I look at her and think about the hard times.  The sleepless nights and the crying.  And maybe it's selfish, but I'm happy with my two girls.  There are two legs in my lap, two hands to hold, and two cheeks just begging to be kissed.  Two hips and to arms in order to balance my two girls.  That's perfect for me. 

Is tomorrow already Friday?

Tomorrow is Friday?  I had no idea.  This week is flying by...

This is the biggest lie of my life!  This has been the most insane week EVER!  It's Thursday and I've been to work once.  And, no, this isn't a good thing.  I actually like my job, and was starting to fall into a routine...enter Sophia, stage left!  (We cursed ourselves by saying she was the easy one when she was born...she took this as a challenge, apparently.)

Let me back up an entire week.  Last Thursday my mom and Robbie came to visit.  Friday they kept the girls home from school and they spent the day with them.  Just when we thought we had Sophia figured out, switched her to Lactose free milk, she throws us another curve ball.  Friday the pooping started, Saturday it continued.  I toyed with calling the doctor since it was a holiday weekend (I should have trusted my maternal instinct.)  Every time they've seen her in the last 6 months she's been sick in one way or another.

Sophia has ear infections ALL THE TIME.  I know that there are parents who have children with far greater illnesses than this.  And I cannot imagine that life.  This especially goes to my friend Stacy whose daughter had a liver transplant nine months ago.  Chronic ear infections are nothing compared to her worry.  But this is my daughter and this is my life.  The worries are different, but they are worries nonetheless.  And they impact our lives.  Often.  Sophia averages an ear infection a month.  Sometimes more.  So, when I finally took her to an urgent care office on Monday morning (after taking my parents to the airport at 7:00) I was not surprised to hear she had another one.  I was, however, surprised to hear that she had hand-foot-mouth...again.  Second time in two months.  After I heard that and started thinking about it I came to the following conclusion...

We've been passing this horrible virus between us for two months!!!  Yeah, you read that correctly.

I had a sore throat for over a month.  (Spare me the lecture...I don't have time...)  Jason had a sore throat for a while and trouble breathing...diagnosis: sinus infection and conjunctivitis...I have my doubts now. Bella spent nearly three weeks with her hands in her mouth (she has no teeth left to come in) and refusing to eat (very strange for either of my children).  She also graced us with four weeks of waking at least two times a night.  She finally straightened out and then two days later... BAM!  So, I may not have a medical background, but I'm sticking with my diagnosis.

I spent the two days after Sophia was diagnosed bleaching my house and toys and washing every soft item I could throw in the washing machine; baby dolls, dress up clothes, sheets, blankets, towels, stuffed animals...you name it.  There are six baskets of toys on a high shelf just waiting to be back in circulation.  I'm waiting.  I think I lost my fingerprints during the bleaching extravaganza!  And I'm continuing to do it regularly.  Next time please remind me to wear the same outfit when I do this...I got bleach on two different pairs of shorts!

The doctor said she could go back to school on Thursday.  Shit...are you for real?!  It's the second "full" week of school (no school on Labor Day).  I knew that Jason was leaving on Wednesday for a meeting.  Enter Mommy guilt...stage right.  "I can't stay home for two days.  I can't miss work.  I NEED to go to work."  Reality check...my daughter had a fever, blisters in her throat, and an ear infection...and I was worried about work?  Yes.  I was.

I stayed home Tuesday.  Jason's flight didn't leave until 5:15 on Wednesday, so he stayed home then.  We payed a babysitter to come over between when he left and I got home (faculty meeting day).  We made it through.

Heeeellllllloooooo Thursday morning!  I'm up early...making bottles and breakfast, fixing my hair (and it looked good, too), making coffee, and packing lunches.  I wake Bella up, get her dressed and brush her hair and teeth.  Cup of milk in hand, Mickey Mouse on TV, she's good to go.  Long trek back upstairs to wake the little sleeping cupcake.  She's warm.  "Maybe, she's just snuggly."  I change her diaper and she's screaming.  "She's hungry."  I decided to leave her in her pjs (this should have been a dead give away).  She started eating a waffle and drinking some milk and I loaded them in the car.

There was a nagging in my mind.  She should not be going to school.  She was just warm.  Not burning up.  But her demeanor was just not right.  I looked around her classroom and my eyes fell on one of the other kids.  He's little...5 months old, maybe.  And it hit me.  This is not right.  This is not fair.  I'm being selfish.  If my baby was 5 months old and another mother sent her child to school like this I would be pissed.  Really.  But still I hemmed and hawed.  Fifteen minutes later I was still standing in the room.  I looked to her teacher and said, "If I really felt it was okay to leave her, I would have left 15 minutes ago."  We left.  I called my school.  Set up lesson plans.  And my day started over...kind of.

Sophia's temperature never spiked, but she did sleep ALL DAY!  She took a 3 hour nap at 8:15, then another 2 hour nap at 1:30.  There's my answer.  Maybe she didn't technically have to stay home, but clearly my daughter's body needed to rest.

But I cried on the way home from her school.  Why is this?  My ultimate responsibility in life is to my children.  It is my duty, yes, duty, to make sure that they are well taken care of.  Why is there a societal (and I'll admit I put this stress on myself, too) expectation that mothers are less desirable of employees because they may need to take off of work more often.  Before we had children my husband would even struggle with understanding and accepting this from his own employees.  I said to him today, through tears, "If I worked for you, you would think I was a bad employee."  But the reality is, I don't work for him.  I work for a mother and grandmother, who answered the phone with, "How is our little patient?"

I am committed to my career.  I love what I do.  But I am consumed with the well-being of my children.  They are the reason I go to work every day.  This is a hard reconciliation for me.  I can effectively execute two different roles, mother and teacher.  I can be an excellent working mother.   I can be a phenomenal teacher.  And there will be days when I have to take time off from work because one of my children is ill.  And that's okay.  It's more than okay.  It's the right thing to do.

But I'm telling you, she's going to school tomorrow!

School Days...School Days...

Well, it's that time of year again.  The first week of school.  It's crazy.  Really it is.  I started the week out feeling extremely overwhelemed and out of my element.  I'm finding that sixth grade is a lot more challenging than I imagined.  Quite honestly, it's been a huge learning experience for me, even in one week.  I'm learning that I have to research and learn HOW to teach things I took for granted in the past...systems for turning work in, heading papers, peer editing, how to have a productive conversation.  These are all things that I've managed to escape in the past.  In the past we practiced and perfected these things, now I have to TEACH them!  Who knew?!  The reality is, it's a bit stressful, but actually really exciting.  I love that I'm stepping outside of my comfort zone and actually learning things I didn't know.  It makes me feel productive.  At the end of the day on Thursday, my class was caught off guard by the last bell.  The students hurried to print their writing and Wordles, ran upstairs and then to their lockers.  Ten minutes later I finally made it up to my room only to find that every single student had turned their work into the proper file folder...SUCCESS!  It made the previous days of beating my head against the walls, readjusting expectations, and reevaluating the time requirements for what I thought would be the EASIEST of assignments well worth it!

Like most teachers I am constantly excited about room decor and school supplies.  This year is a little unique, my room was absolutely bare and I didn't even have a hole puncher!  I did have a school supply budget, which I've used only a fraction of, but I like to shop the aisles of Target after back to school for some great deals.  My most recent find?  Milk crates for $1!!!  I'm going to turn those into storage container/stools...stay tuned for that picture.  But even though I've found great joy in my meeting my students, I've been absolutely delighted at what my room looks like.  Here goes nothing!


This is my student work center.  My assignment calendars, absent work folders, turn in folders (which are now labeled with the class periods and actually hanging on the wall), student writing portfolios, bathroom passes, and question clothespins.  I use the clothespins to keep kids on task when I'm circulating the room: each student has a clothespin with their name on it.  When they have a question, instead of following me around the room, wasting time waiting for me to get to them, or bothering their classmates, they bring me the clothespin,  and return to their seats to continue working until I get to them.  I clip it to my clipboard and circulate answering questions in the order in which I received their clothespins.  I've used it a few times so far with GREAT success!

These are the rules we established for having a productive discussion in class.  I was VERY impressed with their ability to create ground rules that will help everyone feel included, respected, and valued.  I'm going to take these rules and post them in my room.

This board is on the side wall, immediately facing students when they walk in the door.  The first thing they do is write down their homework, don't ask questions about it, just write it down.  This gives me a way to link my assignments/agenda to Mastery Outcomes and standards.  I neglected to write up my This Week in History last week, it was a little chaotic.  But I've found that kids love it.  It's a constant source of discussion.  I used my Cricut machine and some vinyl paper to cut out the letters and stick them to the white board.  I'll be adding vocabulary to the bottom right-hand corner this week.

I could NEVER have a spot labeled "Early Finisher Activities" in high school!  lol  But they don't know any better!  These are all of my activities for students who finish their work early.  All are academically based to keep their brains working.  They always have the option to read, but this gives them some choice if they'd like a break from their book.  Some activities include writing thank you notes, creating Wordles for their current main character, mad libs, cross word puzzles, and Brain Quest cards.

Favorite bulletin board EVER!  I had students use paint swatches to write their first writing sample of the year.  The writing will go in their portfolio.  At the end of the year each student will receive their paint swatch back and they will write another story (hopefully much better than the first, if I've done my job well) using the same colors.

Don't mind the chaotic paper collection on the bulletin board.  It needs a title: "Reader's Bill of Rights". The bulletin board above "How else can I say" will be part of a group activity.  Students will develop synonyms for the words written across the top (there are 18 total spanning the front of the room) that can be used to "say what you really mean".  Instead of saying "She is nice."  Student can choose to say "She is kind, thoughtful, caring, trustworthy..."  Instead of saying "I looked around the corner" they can say "I (peeked, spied, glared) around the corner".  You get the idea.

The long and the short of it is that I'm feeling really good about how my room looks.  Now it's time to hit the ground running!  Tuesday is just around the corner.

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Wild Child Sophia!

I've been mentally plotting out my "back to school" post with pictures, funny and inspirational stories, and creative ideas.  But the reality is, I'm barely keeping my head above water.  Jason has been traveling a ridiculous amount, which doesn't lessen the chaos.  Bella has decided that every meal time will be a struggle and she's still waking at least twice a night.  I even took her to the doctor's office to get her ears checked...no go.  Honestly, I think she's waking to go to the bathroom, but I just cannot even THINK about tackling that right now.  Sophia has become independent (walking EVERYWHERE), taking toys, and squealing...OMG the squealing.  Screeching is a better description.  It's worse than fingernails on a chalk board (and I know this because my classroom actually has a chalkboard!).

But here's a (non-back-to-school-related) story for the ages...

Bath time presents many challenges in this house.  We bathe both girls simultaneously, but the chaos began before I even put the girls in the tub.

I was gathering up pjs, pull-ups, and diapers, placing them all in the same place, to make the dressing phase a bit more seamless.  I walk into the bathroom, where the water is running to find Bella sitting in the tub, Sophia's bottle in the toilet, and her splashing around trying to get it.  Seriously?!  After a lecture to both girls we carry on.

They are usually really good about saving the splashing for the end, when the water is draining.  This gives me a chance to back up and preserve my clothes.  Tonight did not present that opportunity.  I was soaked.  Sophia was walking all over the bathtub, and every time I tried to have her sit back down she'd let out the shriek that wakes the dead.  Eventually I gave in and just let her stand.  She has to learn sometime, right?

Bella asked to stay in the water until it was fully drained, so I said yes, scooped Sophia out and began changing her (within eyeshot of the tub).  Bella decided she was too cold, climbed out of the tub, spilling an entire basket of hair ties all over the floor!  But she was drying off and happy.  I'll clean up the ponies anytime for that relief.  Sophia was dressed, so I moved on to assisting Bella, which usually just means watching because she wants to do it all by herself.  But tonight she had a silly request: "Can you change me on the changing table?"  LOL  After tonight, I needed the laugh, so I obliged.  She thought it was a riot and I loved watching the goofy look on her face!

Once she was dressed we went into the hallway to fix her hair.  This entire time Sophia was just waltzing around upstairs, enjoying her newfound freedom.  Until she shut herself in the bathroom.  Not a big deal, right.  Oh no...you are so wrong!

She shut the bathroom door then opened the drawer, which blocks the door from opening.  Yeah, that's right.  She literally barricaded herself in the bathroom.  The bathroom where she had just opened the toilet lid and played in the water...my mind played out a million devastating scenes.  Until I realized I should just slide the drawer closed (there's a very small gap).  My hand doesn't fit.  So I enlist Bella's help.  No go. This entire time that blood curdling scream just keeps coming in fits and starts!  Not crying, mind you, just screaming.  She's doing it on purpose, I'm convinced.  "Ha ha, Mom...Come and get me!"  So now all I can picture is her, head first in the toilet with me stranded on the other side of the door.  This sends me into a panic.  Even if I could, shouldering the door down isn't even a possibility due to the location of the drawer.  My heart is beating out of my chest and I'm paralyzed.  The kids playing outside snap me out of it.  Jill!  She'll know what to do.

I barrel down the stairs with Bella on my heels, call for Jill and try to explain the situation.  Her first question, "Is everything okay" gets a hurried, "not really".  She asks if I need a little key to unlock the door.  Clearly I wasn't describing the situation adequately in my state of panic, so I slow down a bit.  She starts heading toward the door when Lukas, our neighbor, hearing the panic in my voice, also heads to the door.  Now, don't get me wrong, I like him.  Our kids are friends.  I'm friends with his wife.  But he's never been in my house.  I haven't vacuumed, there are shoes everywhere, dishes in the sink (all the things you do to prepare for the first time someone comes to your house).  But at this moment, I do not care!  My only thought, running on a continuous loop, is "how the FUCK am I supposed to get her out of there"?!  This thought wins out.  Hell, the entire block could have come in at that moment and I wouldn't have cared.

I don't know what it is about men, but there is a MacGyver instinct in them that I can only admire from afar.  I don't get it.  My mind doesn't think like this.  Now, I don't feel inadequate or stupid, just a bit like I'm dealing with a Martian....which, if you ask John Gray, I was.  Lukas asks for a wire hanger, twists it into a long handle and uses it to push the back panel of the drawer.  Keep in mind he's doing this in a space that Bella's hand couldn't even fit through!  He slides the drawer all the way closed, opens the door and I see my little peanut standing there in the middle of the bathroom...

Holding a damn bottle of Tylenol!

Yeah, just keeping my head above water pretty much sums it up!

And so it begins...

Well, tomorrow is the last day of summer "vacation", if you can call two toddlers a vacation.  Sometimes it is definitely easier to be at work.  This year I'm embarking on several firsts:

It will be my first full year teaching while being a mother, let alone a mother of two.

It will be my first full year teaching middle school.

It will be my first full year teaching in the state of Illinois (very different than Florida)!

It will be my first full year juggling and maintaining a home with a spouse who travels.

This is something I've grown accustomed to, but when you live in a household where the parents share the parenting "duties", it really is taxing when he's not here.  I have to cook, clean, bathe, read, wake in the night, etc., etc., etc..  I know that there are plenty of single parents who do this every single day (and I don't know how they do it, honestly), but when this isn't part of your day to day routine, it's sometimes a challenge to shift gears.

It is no secret that I am incredibly unorganized!  I have the best of intentions, and the best organizational tools, really, but I can't keep track of my electric bill half of the time.  This year I am choosing to be more organized.  I am choosing to live a healthier life, for my children and husband, as well as for myself.  I am choosing to spend the best quality of time with my family as possible.  It isn't about doing everything these days, it's about doing the things that matter most.  And what matters most to me is my family.  I'm making lists, and sticking to them.  It's remarkable how much I can get done if I stick to a list.  Today alone I (in no particular order)

• tried to get a pedicure (closed on Mondays)
• washed, cut, and prepped fruits and vegetables for the next few weeks (I have found that if I take the time to do this dinner prep is so much easier and I don't throw away a ton of food)
• took Sophia to a doctor's appointment (where she screamed the entire appointment, so loudly, that the doctor only put his hand around the door to give me the note for her school, asking them to allow diet modifications)
• made two batches of granola
• 
• exchanged/returned clothes at two different stores

• took my children with me to Home Depot and Carter's (if this was the only thing I did today, that in itself would have been an accomplishment)
• went to another store to buy Lactose free milk for Sophia (I was on the hunt for the cheapest, and I found it: WalMart $2.83/half gallon)
• 
• cleaned out both of the girls' humidifiers (super easy method on Pinterest)
• responded to two friends about "baby questions" (Mothers, don't ever give unsolicited advice...don't ever give advice, period.  But you can always answer a friend's question with "This is what worked for me...") (Note to self: always try to heed your own advice...)
• bought myself two new bras (this is a much overdue accomplishment, you have NO IDEA!)
• looked up materials for my Mastery Outcome Assessments
• made trail mix
• planned out dinners for the week
• looked up a recipe for making my own Lactose Free yogurt in the crock pot (this was prompted by a remarkably inspiring mother I know)   Crock Pot Yogurt HERE
• had both girls in bed, one asleep, by 8:00

Although I find that I am chronically tired, I find that at the end of the day, I sit down with dinner, a glass of wine or a beer, and say, "I did it."  It's hard.  Yeah, it's still hard.  And some days I don't feel like I'm measuring up or doing enough.  But on a day like today (on most days, really), when the only thing I didn't cross of my list was "mail ______ to ________", it's a good day.  I don't beat myself up over the one (or three or ten) things that didn't get done.  Tomorrow is another day.  It's my last day to get myself organized and ready for the new year.  But if it doesn't all get finished tomorrow, that'll be okay, too.  My house is still standing.  My children are laughing.  And I have a wonderful husband who loves me, and who I happen to absolutely adore.  Life is good.  Crazy, hectic, and blissfully good.

So tomorrow's list starts...

• put away all my clothes
• lay out my clothes for the rest of the week
• set up the girls' clothes for next season/size
• prep dinner for Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday
• get a pedicure!!!!