Wild Child Sophia!

I've been mentally plotting out my "back to school" post with pictures, funny and inspirational stories, and creative ideas.  But the reality is, I'm barely keeping my head above water.  Jason has been traveling a ridiculous amount, which doesn't lessen the chaos.  Bella has decided that every meal time will be a struggle and she's still waking at least twice a night.  I even took her to the doctor's office to get her ears checked...no go.  Honestly, I think she's waking to go to the bathroom, but I just cannot even THINK about tackling that right now.  Sophia has become independent (walking EVERYWHERE), taking toys, and squealing...OMG the squealing.  Screeching is a better description.  It's worse than fingernails on a chalk board (and I know this because my classroom actually has a chalkboard!).

But here's a (non-back-to-school-related) story for the ages...

Bath time presents many challenges in this house.  We bathe both girls simultaneously, but the chaos began before I even put the girls in the tub.

I was gathering up pjs, pull-ups, and diapers, placing them all in the same place, to make the dressing phase a bit more seamless.  I walk into the bathroom, where the water is running to find Bella sitting in the tub, Sophia's bottle in the toilet, and her splashing around trying to get it.  Seriously?!  After a lecture to both girls we carry on.

They are usually really good about saving the splashing for the end, when the water is draining.  This gives me a chance to back up and preserve my clothes.  Tonight did not present that opportunity.  I was soaked.  Sophia was walking all over the bathtub, and every time I tried to have her sit back down she'd let out the shriek that wakes the dead.  Eventually I gave in and just let her stand.  She has to learn sometime, right?

Bella asked to stay in the water until it was fully drained, so I said yes, scooped Sophia out and began changing her (within eyeshot of the tub).  Bella decided she was too cold, climbed out of the tub, spilling an entire basket of hair ties all over the floor!  But she was drying off and happy.  I'll clean up the ponies anytime for that relief.  Sophia was dressed, so I moved on to assisting Bella, which usually just means watching because she wants to do it all by herself.  But tonight she had a silly request: "Can you change me on the changing table?"  LOL  After tonight, I needed the laugh, so I obliged.  She thought it was a riot and I loved watching the goofy look on her face!

Once she was dressed we went into the hallway to fix her hair.  This entire time Sophia was just waltzing around upstairs, enjoying her newfound freedom.  Until she shut herself in the bathroom.  Not a big deal, right.  Oh no...you are so wrong!

She shut the bathroom door then opened the drawer, which blocks the door from opening.  Yeah, that's right.  She literally barricaded herself in the bathroom.  The bathroom where she had just opened the toilet lid and played in the water...my mind played out a million devastating scenes.  Until I realized I should just slide the drawer closed (there's a very small gap).  My hand doesn't fit.  So I enlist Bella's help.  No go. This entire time that blood curdling scream just keeps coming in fits and starts!  Not crying, mind you, just screaming.  She's doing it on purpose, I'm convinced.  "Ha ha, Mom...Come and get me!"  So now all I can picture is her, head first in the toilet with me stranded on the other side of the door.  This sends me into a panic.  Even if I could, shouldering the door down isn't even a possibility due to the location of the drawer.  My heart is beating out of my chest and I'm paralyzed.  The kids playing outside snap me out of it.  Jill!  She'll know what to do.

I barrel down the stairs with Bella on my heels, call for Jill and try to explain the situation.  Her first question, "Is everything okay" gets a hurried, "not really".  She asks if I need a little key to unlock the door.  Clearly I wasn't describing the situation adequately in my state of panic, so I slow down a bit.  She starts heading toward the door when Lukas, our neighbor, hearing the panic in my voice, also heads to the door.  Now, don't get me wrong, I like him.  Our kids are friends.  I'm friends with his wife.  But he's never been in my house.  I haven't vacuumed, there are shoes everywhere, dishes in the sink (all the things you do to prepare for the first time someone comes to your house).  But at this moment, I do not care!  My only thought, running on a continuous loop, is "how the FUCK am I supposed to get her out of there"?!  This thought wins out.  Hell, the entire block could have come in at that moment and I wouldn't have cared.

I don't know what it is about men, but there is a MacGyver instinct in them that I can only admire from afar.  I don't get it.  My mind doesn't think like this.  Now, I don't feel inadequate or stupid, just a bit like I'm dealing with a Martian....which, if you ask John Gray, I was.  Lukas asks for a wire hanger, twists it into a long handle and uses it to push the back panel of the drawer.  Keep in mind he's doing this in a space that Bella's hand couldn't even fit through!  He slides the drawer all the way closed, opens the door and I see my little peanut standing there in the middle of the bathroom...

Holding a damn bottle of Tylenol!

Yeah, just keeping my head above water pretty much sums it up!