Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving!

I had high aspirations of posting my very first blog EVER on my thirtieth birthday.  It would be witty and heartfelt and thousands of people would read it.  Then I snapped back to reality and realized I'd be in the midst of a chaotic vacation, on a relaxing overnight getaway with my husband, and, really, only a handful of people will ever come across this.  My life is nothing extraordinary; I live a mundane, albeit very happy, existence, and I am only marginally funny...okay I like sarcasm and snarkiness, but those are not to be confused with wit!  But I'm okay with that.  More than okay with that.

I am the youngest of most of my friends, and everyone keeps asking me how I feel now that I'm thirty.  The reality is, I feel great.  I feel better than I've ever felt.  Honestly.  For the first time, in quite possibly my entire life, I look in the mirror and smile at what I see. I feel better, physically, than I ever have.  I'm confident and self assured.  I'm happier than I ever could have imagined, and for the first time in a long time, things feel "normal".  But the road to thirty was paved with tough decisions and valuable life long lessons that I will do my best to pass along to my children, in hopes of sparing them some of the pain I experienced.  But in the end, that pain led me to where I am now.  I can honestly say I do not have any regrets in my life...well maybe one, but that is a blog for another time.

Here goes nothing...30 things I've learned in 30 years...

1.  No one wants to be alone...that is why social media has taken off the way it has.  That's why I'm typing this right now.  I want to believe that my life matters, that I am important beyond my immediate existence, and that I am able to enrich the lives of those I love most.  Yes, egocentric, a bit narcissistic, but aren't we all just a little?

2.  You have never loved anyone or anything until you hold your child for the first time.

3.  Despite your deepest fears, you feel that overwhelming love all over again the first time you hold your second child...really.

4.  There is no sound greater than that of a laughing child...except maybe their deep sleep breathing.

5.  It's okay to choose the same nail polish color EVERY time you get a pedicure.

6.  Your family is your family no matter where you live.

7.  You will lose touch with the people you called your dearest friends; this doesn't make either of you a "bad" friend or negate the friendship, laughs, and genuine good times you had.  It just happens.  So when you happen to cross paths, whether it's been a month, a year, or a decade, don't let time stand in your way...pick up where you left off!  You'll both walk away feeling wonderful.

8.  At some point we all put ourselves last, but Stacy and Clinton are right...invest in your wardrobe! You'll feel a million percent better about yourself!

9.  It is possible to make new friends, no matter how old or out of practice you are!

10.  Sometimes putting your kids first requires putting yourself in a personally uncomfortable situation, but I have yet to regret this decision.  Go to a library story time or a Mom's Group meeting...you'll be glad you did.

11.  It's perfectly acceptable to lock yourself in the bathroom and tell your children you're in time out.

12.  A beer, alone, while you watch your children play in the yard is perfectly acceptable on a Friday afternoon, Monday evening, or Sunday morning...

13.  Pay is insignificant in the grand scheme of things if you hate your job.

14.   Marry your best friend.  Trust this person to help you thrive emotionally.  Allow yourself to become a better person in their presence.  Know that if you lean on this person they will not crumble, but you must be able and willing to return this favor.

15.  Teach your children to give back to others, it will become second nature.

16.  It's okay to put your immediate family's needs before anyone else's...even if the other people are also your relatives.

17.  Marry someone who makes you laugh.

18.  Don't ever accept the person you are if you're unhappy with any aspect of this person...you can change if you want to.

19.  Change sucks!

20.  When new neighbors move in, bring them cookies, brownies, or another baked good...you never know when you might find your greatest ally.

21.  Say good morning to strangers and hold the door open for the person behind you.

22.  IT'S OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP!  (Especially in matters regarding your children...it really does take a village!)

23.  It's okay to disagree with a person you love, just do it with respect (and it's really okay for your children to witness this...teach them how to disagree with respect).

24.  Don't take your freedoms lightly...educate yourself and make decisions based on all of the information you've gathered.

25.  You will doubt yourself as a parent.

26.  You will doubt yourself as a spouse.

27.  Self confidence can cure all of your self doubts.  But arrogance can take away everything you've worked for.

28.  You are only as beautiful as you allow yourself to feel.  Give yourself the clearance to bask in the glory of YOUR beauty...you're not supposed to look like a Victoria Secret's model.

29.  Talk to your mom every day, and end every conversation with "I love you", even if it was only a 30 second phone call.  She could be gone in the blink of an eye.

30.  You are your most important ally.  You will experience hurt and loss and heartache, but don't set yourself up for these things.  If you're not striving for your own happiness, you can't expect anyone else to either.